Driving in the slow lane

My timing has been always different to other people. When playing sport or chess this has given me great advantage. When playing badminton, tennis or squash your opponent might not expect your return shot.  Late timing mostly puts people off guard and unsettled them. Throw in a lefthanded opponent and you are halfway to winning. Of course there is the mental side of sport too. The will to win but I’m not talking about that here. In sport it is a pleasure to frustrate people and for it to be allowed by the rules and even encouraged. I have never thought of my timing as off or slow just different. That for me has always been a healthy way to view this part of me. After all it who I am.

In conversation though sometimes this timing confuses others. Some people think I have ignored them, begun day dreaming or didn’t hear them at all. When they presume this to be so I reply unexpectedly or add my thoughts to the conversation. It takes them by surprise sometimes. I think when I gather my thoughts so to speak I am actually visualising in my library of thoughts for the chosen response. I may be thinking of what the speaker has said and so I am remembering though visual thought and accessing my library database so to speak. I didn’t notice my response time was slower than normal. DH told me what he observed of me.  And since that time I have noticed this to be true. I don’t mean this to be the case for every mundane interaction with people but with certain ones. Some impatient people assume that I may be stupid and cannot reply or don’t understand them. These people I have no time for and no matter how long I spend talking they will not understand or have the will to understand others. They show their impatience or feelings of superiority and vulgarity. But to those who are curious of the world with a little patience in others you can sometimes have the most wonderful moments in a day. People often surprise you in the most delightful ways at the most unexpected times. Sometimes we miss the opportunity because we are not listening or because our heads are full of business and we can not take a moment and rest a little.

Silence in a conversation or in a day is very important. Without silence the balance is off. I think the most talkative people are perhaps scared of stillness or perhaps of thinking itself. Silence is a time to gather our thoughts or not, to look around us, to clear our thoughts, to order our thoughts or not. It doesn’t have to be anything at all, just plain silence. It is like punctuation in sentence. Without it we wouldn’t know when to stop. Or a breath, without it we’d be dead. More than a necessity, but a must. Too much breath becomes hyperventilation and discomfort, not enough causes dizziness and fainting, but with just the right amount the breaths well this allows the whole body to function, move, think, sense and laugh or cry.

I used to frustrate chess opponents as my timing was slower than theirs. This was not done on purpose but I noticed this after many opponents complained of the slowness of my play. I did win most games and being beaten by a girl perhaps also frustrated the opposing male chess players. I cannot play speed chess but even with a time clock during competitions there is more than ample time to play at your own pace. I cannot play chess to the level I used to as no one will play with me. I do have chess software and play against a computer but I haven’t done that lately. The computer beats me almost every time. Not quite so much fun. I get that now. But at the same time I can’t not try and play well to the best of mu abilities. Sadly I have forgotten how I used to play. Before computers came along I even played chess by mail with a friend living in another city but the game went on for so long that even I gave up with the game’s slowness.

Baseball Batting Centres
Just loved spending time here. The feeling of pure joy when the bat connects with the ball, the sound when you know you’ve hit the spot. I miss that.  Good eye hand co-ordination. I didn’t realise until a few years after that it was not common to actually hit most of the balls at the batting centre. I would take about three balls to get into the groove and then I would be in the zone. If I were born on another continent and of another gender I may have been in the Major Leagues. The baseball batting centre was a life saver. It released some of the tension of living in a big city, the commute, the business, the people. It fulfilled its purpose for me at the time. For nostalgia I would still like another swing.

Not prone to road rage.
I drive well. I tend to drive further back from other drivers to allow for my slower reaction time. When driving in different countries this allows other drivers to overtake or cut in defeating the original purpose of the gap. I know that this is the case yet I find it more stressful to drive closer to cars for the sake of driving. I cannot seem to change this habit no matter how many times my DH shares his thoughts on this. I find my logic at odds with the other drivers.

I was reading about Aspergers and that with guided teaching one can be taught most things. This I think refers mainly to social skills.  I’m a very hands on person. I am also very stubborn. I have to thank my father for patiently teaching me how to drive a manual car with a column change. We had many a heated discussion on what I was doing in the car. We both survived the experience.

I love driving. I am a hopeless passenger. I like to be in charge and I hate being bored. If I am driving I am doing something and in control. If I am in the passenger seat I wriggle and fidget and suggest when the driver should watch out for potential road hazards.  Like I said I am a hopeless passenger. Just lately I have been handing over the reins of the car and learning to be a reasonable passenger. I feel that I can have a conversation in the car without having to deal with the driving part at the same time. Not being very good at multitasking I find talking, listening and driving to be a challenge. Talking and listening in a car without having to worry about driving is a new experience. I am learning to enjoy this. I don’t consider driving to be multitasking per se I see it as a fluid action that is made up of many steps. If you see a red light you put your foot on the break, when you park on a hill you put the hand brake on and you turn the steering wheel so that the tyres are at an angle to the hill. When it rains you turn the wipers on, etc… Rather than multitasking I see driving as a single function with many set of steps and variables to get a vehicle from point A to B.

Reflex versus reaction: If you drop something off a table I will most likely be able to pick it up to save it from hitting the floor. Why does this seemingly contradict someone with slow reaction time also having a quick reflex. Is reflex a learned habit and gets faster with time? Or you have it or you don’t? And is reaction speed timing also a learned practice? Can this improve with multiple attempts?

Room Eleven – Bitch

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