Toxic

toxic

©wikipedia

Harmful.
Toxic.
Chemicals are toxic. So are people.
We are able to read the label on a bottle and understand that the contents are toxic. We know to handle with care and keep it away from small children and animals. We wear gloves and store them away out of reach. Locked up even.
Chemicals aren’t always labelled and they can leach into our water or food supply or the air that we breathe and harm us without our consent or knowledge. Sometimes we know we are being harmed but no one is listening. Sometimes we can’t remove ourselves from the situation through no fault of our own.
I blame it on harmartia. It comes from the Greek word ἁμαρτία. To err or to miss the mark. It is the general word that covers all sins. Sorry I’m Not Sorry.

People can be toxic as well.
How come we are able to tell if a chemical is toxic on a label yet we aren’t able to tell when people are toxic to us?
Should we come with labels too?
“Does not mix well with other.”
“Harmful to children.”
“Keep away from family.”
“Toxic.”
“Harmful to self.”
“Seek help immediately if swallowed.”
“Keep away from others.”
What a world we would live in. I would hate to have to read more labels so perhaps it wouldn’t be a good idea.
I blame hamartia for toxicity in people too.

Toxic people can be easily avoided.
Stop calling them.
Stop texting them.
Stop emailing them.
Stop seeing them.
Stop thinking about them.
Easier said than done unless they are family or in the work place. That is a challenge.

Family are a group of people. Bound together through blood, adoption or marriage. Love unconditionally.  Until it is conditional. Life is too short to argue and be full of hate. Let it go. Walk away. Does being right make it worth the effort. Let someone else win the argument. It doesn’t really matter.

QUESTION: You are driving in a car and you are in the correct lane and an oncoming car veers towards you.  What do you do?

(A) Stay in your lane because you are driving in the right lane.
(B) Drive defensively and get out of harms way.
(C) Veer towards oncoming traffic.

The sensible answer is (B) but sometimes we are so caught up with being right that we unintentionally harm ourselves for the satisfaction of being right. Sometimes we are dead right.

I don’t have any answers for toxic people in the work place except perhaps looking for employment elsewhere. Your health is important. Why put up with the toxic environment? You deserve better. For dealing with toxic family here are a few suggestions:

What to Do with Toxic Family Members
(1) Family are people and they have flaws. Recognise those flaws.  Love and accept them but it doesn’t mean you need to be them. You do not have to copy their behaviour.
(2) Limit your contact with family.  (If you are living at home, well then maybe spend time studying, reading, sketching, listening to music, blogging or do sport/music elsewhere. Whatever makes you happy.  Be patient.  But remember while you are living at home you live by their rules. Get a part-time/full time job. Save up. Move out when you are able.)
(3) Be kind to yourself. Mind, body and soul.
(4) Take the time to understand yourself. Believe in yourself.
(5) Step back and reflect. Don’t react. Think. Breathe. Develop patience. Take the high road.
(6) Write a journal. (Worried that someone will read it? Write it on the computer password protected.)
(7) Take the lead on your own welfare. You deserve happiness. You make it happen. Be proactive.
(8) Get advice from another family member, or someone you trust.

You cannot make everyone happy with your decisions 100% of the time.
It’s okay for someone else to not agree with you.
It’s okay for someone not to like your choice.
It’s okay for you to believe in yourself.
That’s the first step.

MUSIC
Britney Spears – Toxic

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