When perseverance is wrong

I spent ten years in an occupation that was completely wrong for me, teaching. I always felt drained after a day of school. I needed to recharge and then I needed to prepare for the next day. I can see now why it was so wrong for me. Towards the end I would cry without reason. The life was draining out of me. The day I finished I never looked back. No regrets just relief. Relief. Followed by rest. Lots and lots of rest.

Perseverance in the wrong place can be disastrous. I didn’t want to give up my job. I didn’t want to admit that I had made the wrong choice. I didn’t want to fail. I persevered for too long. In hindsight I should have given up after a year. What other people think of you is really just in your head, your perception of what they think, not actually what they think. Most people are trying to sort themselves out and really don’t give a toss about you. I should have not worried about being a failure. Really I tried it. It wasn’t for me. I should have walked away sooner. I wanted to give it a chance. Why? How long is long enough to realise that it is not your thing? A day? A week? A month? Six months? A year? Depends doesn’t it? Sometimes we make poor decisions. We don’t always have to live with it for ever. We have a choice.

Analysis and research, shape and design are my strong points and with that in mind I should really have gone in that direction earlier. It is very difficult when you are young to know what you want to do. Especially when you have people telling you to be practical and chose subjects at university with a job in mind. It shouldn’t be that way. It is the time to expand your mind so it takes you in tangents that you didn’t know existed. Playing it safe is not stimulating for the mind it kills the mind. Boredom is the danger of playing safe.

If I follow the wrong path nowadays I turn back and take another one or make my own new one. Giving up time and effort can be better than persevering for the sake of saving face. It’s not worth it. You only have one life. Live it well.

Seven Nights

Seven nights sober,
A dry week so to speak,
No wine, no beer, no spirits near,
The evenings seem longer, the mornings lighter,
The fog is lifting,
Different risks are being considered,
The possibilities are endless,
And oh so worth it.